The Magnificent 7 (and the Not-So-Magnificent 7): What Makes or Breaks Adults Who Work With Youth

Working with youth is more than simply showing up—it’s about how you show up. Whether you’re a teacher, coach, advisor, or mentor, the relationship you build with young people can make all the difference in their development, confidence, and leadership. But let’s face it: not all adult behaviors are helpful. Some can even be harmful despite good intentions.

✨Here are seven essential qualities every adult should bring to the table—and seven traits to leave at the door—if you’re serious about making a meaningful impact with youth.✨

✅ The Magnificent 7: Qualities Youth Need From Us

1. Authenticity - Young people have a sixth sense for sniffing out fake. Be real with them. Share your story. Let them see your flaws, your growth, and your excitement. Authenticity builds trust faster than a perfect resume.

2. Respect - Respect their opinions, identities, and dreams—even when they’re still figuring them out. When youth feel respected, they rise to the occasion.

3. Flexibility - Things won’t always go as planned—and that’s okay. Flexibility enables youth to take the lead, try new things, and adapt when life presents challenges.

4. Understanding of Facilitation - Facilitation isn’t telling—it’s about creating an environment conducive to learning and growth. Instead of lecturing, learn to ask open-ended questions, encourage discussion, and help youth find their voices.

5. Empathy - Today’s youth navigate a complex world. Try seeing through their eyes. Listening deeply and validating their experiences creates powerful connections.

6. Patience - Growth takes time, and mistakes are part of the journey. A patient adult encourages progress without pressure.

7. A Sense of Humor - Laughter builds bonds. Being able to laugh at yourself, tell a silly story, or lighten a tense moment makes you more approachable—and human.

   
   

🚫 The Not-So-Magnificent 7: Traits That Turn Youth Away

1. Rigidity - A “my way or the highway’ attitude stifles creativity and engagement. Youth want structure, not straitjackets.

2. Judgment - Youth are growing, exploring, and experimenting. If you lead with criticism, you’ll likely lose the opportunity to mentor them.

3. Ego - It’s not about you. If you’re more focused on being right or being admired than supporting youth, it’s time for a gut check.

4. Micromanagement - Hovering kills motivation. Give youth space to try, fail, learn, and lead.

5. Inconsistency - Trust is built through reliability. Mixed messages or unpredictable behavior can leave youth feeling uncertain or unsupported.

6. Negativity - The world already gives youth enough “no.” Adults should be the “yes, and…” that helps them see possibilities, not roadblocks.

7. Dismissiveness - Brushing off youth ideas or concerns sends the message that their voices don’t matter. And once they believe that they stop speaking up.

   
   

👥 The Bottom Line

Young people don’t need us to be perfect—they need us to be present, honest, and willing to grow alongside them. The most effective adults working with youth remember that leadership is a partnership, not a power trip. So, let’s lead with heart, listen with intent, and keep those not-so-magnificent traits in check.